to nag or not

A little while ago I asked my grandmother what was the secret to a long lasting marriage. 

Her response, Do not nag. 

Now myself being raised in the modern times, I find it hard to be submissive and not express yourself. 

So that brings me to the question, is there a difference between nagging and expressing your feelings ? 

I have thought, that could be a key to a long lasting relationship but then where is the communication? 

Sure no one wants to be nagged, or annoyed about an occurring thing/ problem. But if remained not corrected, I feel, will bring problems accumulated over time which results in disaster. 

So how do you express yourself without nagging? 

My solution: express how you feel about whatever it is that is bothering and not mention it again. Here goes that saying, if I said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. Now once you have¬†brought¬†up what is bothering you and your partner continues to disappoint, then NAG ! that is probably what you are thinking to do because obviously it didn’t get through to them the first time. Well, NO don’t do that. It will only cause friction. At the same time if your needs are not being met I suggest you re-evaluate your situation. After all who likes to repeat themselves? And believe me, people do not like to nag. In fact the more you have to say something time and time again makes you feel worse and more reason to make those around you annoyed.¬†

There comes a point in time when you have to accept and learn things that have happened in the past, shall remain in the past. 

Once you have no shame, you have no blame. And after all,¬†that’s¬†what you’re doing when you find yourself nagging. Blaming others and not yourself. In reality you have the power to change the outcome of things. May I suggest, ask yourself then your partner what are things you can do to fix the problem. Then work towards it. After all, we don’t want to seem ungrateful, right.¬†

It took some time for me to mature to understand how my grandmother could say such a thing. 

So at the end of the day, I have to work on this myself, and in return I think it could help toward building a  longer lasting relationship. We are in relationships to supprort our partners no matter wrong or right , short comings or earnings. Not make them feel less of a person and unappreciated. 

So my advice to you, do not nag yet express what is bothering you. And always look at the bigger picture. 

so save the nagging for yourself. Anyone can nag. Lets give our partner something they can’t get from just anybody,¬†understanding.¬†


nature of the way

We as in people have a way with things. While nature has a way with us. Not just disasters I’m talking about but , the way people plant the community’s flowers so that it looks beautiful. But all in the act of vein we are serving our nature being the insects and bugs that are around our environments. Planting the flowers serves the butterflies¬†, bees and other insects. Not cutting your grass will draw the mosquitoes. So in a way we can control the nature of things.

This probably makes no sense. You will not understand what I’m saying unless you actually take the time out of your day and smell the flowers and watch the path of a butterfly or other crawling bug. I mean really take the time and just go for a nature walk.

Its beautful, this chaotic world we live in.

Sometimes i wish people could feel at harmony with the birds chirpping in the morning and relaxed with the cricket sounds at night. And find peace, like sitting in the room with a fish tank or yoga that kinda peace with themselves.